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| New home.
New boy.
New baby.
New blog.
www.shadowami.tumblr.com | | |
| We had something so beautiful, so once in a lifetime, and you fucked it all up.
What the hell is wrong with you? And now that you've gotten me back, I am seeing this new you, this artificial boy who lives for his image and feeds on compliments and approval.
Where did the man I love go? | | |
| You figure me out, constantly. All I have to do is look at you, and you know what I’m thinking. You are awkward. You are so fucking brave. You are surprisingly old fashioned, even though you act crazy. It is impossible to not stare at you. You asked me what I was staring at this morning when we were waking up, and I couldn’t speak. You leave me dumbfounded at times. I have never been at a loss for words when it comes to things like this, but you have stolen all of the air from my lungs and I just can’t form sentences when it comes to you. Your eyes change colors, from ocean blue to forest green, and I don’t know how anyone can look away from you when you lock eyes. You know when something is wrong, even though I have perfected hiding it. You hold me so tight, I can barely breathe, but I don’t care. When it’s dark and we are reduced to fumbling hands and sweat, you are so careful with me. No one has ever been careful with me when it comes to that. Sometimes we lose track of time, and the sunlight floods through your window, but we don’t care. I catch you watching me between kisses, and it gives me shivers. You are ridiculous. You make me laugh more than I ever have. In winter, I thought all my laughter had been stolen. The night I met you, you gave it back to me. You fight with me over our opinions, and we both make good points, and we always call it even. You are self concious about your body, and oh my God, you shouldn’t be. You tell me all the things that I want to know, but never ask. You are just genuinely good, and you don’t find people like that anymore. I took a wrong turn somewhere in life, but you found me, gave me a map, and now I am following you. You are summer and stars, punk rock and rainy days, everything I have ever loved or felt passionate about or wanted, all rolled into one and set ablaze. I love you. | | |
| What are we, that no one can break us? We are concrete, pinky promises and locked eyes. We are unmovable, we will not fall, we are each others shoulder to lean on. Push and push all you want, but we will hold each other up. We are softly kissing in the street, friends first and lovers second, punching you in the arm in restaurants and giggling like children, play fighting like brother and sister, lingering hands and similar minds. We are different opinions colliding into one and living with that and loving the change of someone to debate with rather than agree on absolutely everything with (because that makes it boring). We are watching each others back at shows to make sure no punk in the pit gets too rowdy, we are egging cars and hiding from cops. We are careful with each other, we are driving each other’s cars when one of us has too much to drink. We are strong together, like the foundation that supports a house. Away from you, I am just a boat without a sail, drifting. | | |
| You tell me things that no one else hears, like how you feel devoid of most emotions, and disconnected from your family. How you don’t think you would cry if all of your closest friends died tomorrow, not because you don’t care, but because you just can’t picture yourself crying at a funeral. But how a sad song or movie makes you cry like a child. And then you end with, “You are too easy to talk to”, and I say I’m sorry and smile, and we go to sleep. | | |
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